Yesterday (Sunday) my wife and I popped the kids in the car and took a quick drive over to the awesome and recently rebuilt Verril Farm in Concord, MA. We’ve had a very successful summer in terms of eating local this year and while we didn’t visit Verril Farm at all (we have closer farms), I admire the people who run the place. Anyway, they were having some sort of BBQ fair, complete with hayrides, bluegrass band, pony rides, animal pens, beekeepers and a large selection of BBQ’d deliciousness. It was pretty enjoyable and relatively chill. I especially admired my boys performing their new dance, where they just hop all over the place when the bluegrass band started playing any song.

So as part of the festivities, they had a corn shucking contest. I know, right? Smacks of suburban BBQ festivals! I didn’t really think that either one of my boys would be into entering the contest, but much to my surprise, Zachary announced he wanted to give it a go. So into the circle of shucking we went. It was us pitted against several mother-son and mother-daughter combinations. I believe I was the only father to enter the fray. Upon the word go, we raced and grabbed our corn. Honestly I was more into helping Zachary shuck his corn then piling up a ton for us – I mean, what the hell would we do with so much corn? I just tried to focus on having some fun. Me and my boy in a corn shucking contest. It felt like 1958.

So as I smiled to myself, thinking about it, something caught my ear. It was a mother behind me, who apparently didn’t share my appreciation of the moment, because she was too busy yelling commands out and in general being more fired up than a bull that just got poked in the nuts. I mean, she was on fire! Zachary and I had shucked six ears of corn and she and her brood had a pile of corn that was…..insulting. In the end, she won of course, with 27 ears shucked. But I wondered if she had fun? Or if her kids did? I did overhear her say, smiling “I should never enter contests because this is what happens!”

I think what she meant was that she gets too competitive. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t fun for anyone close to her. It got me thinking about what life might be like at home for her kids. Are they pushed like that to succeed in school and everything else? I struggle with how I’m going to approach that. On one hand, I want my children to do well in school and life in general, of course. You gotta believe most parents do. But I also wonder where the magic line is between them enjoying life and pushing too hard. It’s been on my mind a lot lately as my boys approach schooling age. We’re getting to the point where we have to make a decision about that, i.e., where we school them. Do we put them in a so-called “excellent” school system where it’s all about pressure-pressure-pressure and compete-compete-compete? Is that even good for kids? I say no. But at the same time, I do want to give them every chance to succeed.

Anyway, I keep thinking to myself that that decision, even if we make it now or in a year, is really for way down the road – many years in fact. For now and as long as possible, I want them to enjoy themselves, not worry about how many pieces of corn they shuck. I guess it’s the journey. I need to remember that more.