I’ve hit a new low of sorts. Many people who know me are aware of my reaction to hot and spicy food. For those of you who are not aware, let me clue you in: I sweat. I mean, I SWEAT. The slightest hint of spicy food causes my body to launch itself into a complete code blue, and I instantly begin sweating as if I’d run a marathon in stifling humidity or something. It’s downright odd. Sure, I could understand sweating profusely after eating a meal’s worth of hot food, but my affliction hits the second spicy food hits my tongue. The problem here is that I like the taste of spicy food, but eating it makes me so uncomfortable that I usually have to forego such pleasures. It’s either eat, quench my craving and lose 40 pounds sweating, or I don’t eat it and I’m miserable because I missed the opportunity. Which is better? I don’t know. All I can say is that I usually opt for the latter and skip eating the spicy food.

Then there’s those times when I am in a restaurant and I am completely at the whim of the waitstaff. This can have horrendous consequences. I will always ask the waiter if a certain dish is spicy and make it clear that I have low tolerance. Almost all the time, they say, “no, it’s not spicy at all,” and then it arrives and as soon as the fork hits my mouth, it’s all over. Whip out the bucket ’cause I’m drowning! So now I have to be very melodramatic in the restaurants because waitstaff don’t seem to believe that this really happens to me. It does.

So, to close out the circle of today’s post – back to my first sentence – I’ve hit a new low of sorts. Today I placed 2 gum drops into my mouth, the color was yellow, and suddenly – WHAM – sweating! I had to immeadiately take off my fleece and strip down to a t-shirt to avoid major problems – possibly death. Imagine my god damn surprise, now, that one of my favorite treats can possibly send me to the stratosphere of sweat?! This is a crushing blow. Nothing will stop me from eating gum drops, but this hurts. Oh, it hurts. One more thing: I can’t eat Bar-B-Que Potato Chips either – same reaction. Sometimes the mild taco mixes that you throw into ground beef or chicken makes me freak, too. Fun times…..

Song now playing: Teenage Fanclub – “Ain’t That Enough”