It’s the time of the year again for Christmas parties! Whoo-hoo! Since I’m a pretty high-roller, I get to go to a hell of a lot of Christmas parties around the country. This year has been no different. I went to one in Los Angeles last week and it was packed to the gills with superstars of the big screen, television, etc. Crawling with celebrities, I say! And, oh, let me tell you – it got out of hand YO! At one point, Gwenyth Paltrow was doing keg stands with Nipsey Russell and I saw Simon from American Idol making out with The Bachelor, Aaron Buerge. I guess his engagement didn’t last long, huh?

Anyway, as the night went on I was getting a little more intoxicated and got obsessed, for some weird reason, with some paper finger puppets, then I found Jackie Chan and I was all like “Chan-dude, you are wasted!” I had to pull him away from a drinking game he was playing with Long Duck Dong from “Sixteen Candles” and I yelled to him, “this is insane, my friend, but let me ride on your shoulders!” He was like “uh, hokay” and luckily, someone was there to take a snapshot, otherwise this historic moment would’ve fallen by the wayside (or you wouldn’t have believed me). But it happened.