by rustedrobot | Jun 25, 2007 | Babies, Sarcasm
Maynard, MA (AP) – On a beautiful late Saturday morning in New England, as a gentle breeze flowed through the small town of Maynard, Massachusetts, 3-week old Zachary Copetas accomplished the first of what his father hopes will be many milestones and accomplishments – he pooped on someone. Generally, Pampers do a fine job of keeping certain contents where they’re meant to be, but on occasion even the best of diapers cannot withhold such projectile. And on this Saturday, young Zachary’s eyes started to squint, his face turned that special shade of red, his colon undoubtedly tightened and then, not unlike Mount St. Helens, there was activity. The victim, you ask? None other than corporate big-shot Rob MacLeod, co-founder and President of major Boston corporation Neoscape, whose right leg will forever be enshrined as the first human body part that Zachary shat on. Congratulations, Rob!
Both the shitter and shitee appeared non-plussed in the press conference afterwards. MacLeod, undoubtedly having plenty of experience being shit on as a ten-year business mogel, shrugged it off and said “it’s no big deal.”
Zachary took a much more bashful approach. When asked about the event, he stayed ever-so-silent and used sign language to say “hey, it doesn’t matter if you own a business in the big city or mop floors for a living, if I want to shit on you, I’m gonna shit on you.” He then farted loudly and fell asleep, with a faint smile crossing his face.
by rustedrobot | Jun 22, 2007 | Sarcasm, Sports
You know, I was really hoping for Mike Milbury all along, but the Bruins choice as George “The Animal” Steele for head coach is a stroke of genius. Just imagine all the marketing angles! He could, for example, eat one of the opposing players helmets before knocking him out cold with a skate. Or he could hit the referee with the skate sharpening machine. The opportunities are endless! Finally, the Bruins do something right!
by rustedrobot | May 30, 2007 | Sarcasm
I know, I know. It’s childish. I’m a 36 year old man who still gets a kick out of headlines about Yankees pitcher Chien-Ming Wang. You just KNOW that whoever is writing the headlines at ESPN.com is rubbing his hands together every five days when Wang pitches, because that means he’ll be able to concoct another double entendre. Genius.
by rustedrobot | May 18, 2007 | Sarcasm
Ouch. That must have hurt, huh?
by rustedrobot | May 10, 2007 | Sarcasm
Here’s our latest ultrasound picture. They’ve really grown in the last few months. The one with the “Death Rock” shirt concerns me, though.
They also put a sound detector up to Steph’s belly. Believe it or not, they’re already talking…. and it’s certainly getting a little tense in there. Among other things, here’s what we heard (just click the “play” button below):
[audio:schlong2.mp3]
by rustedrobot | Jun 15, 2006 | Sarcasm, Sports
I always wondered how Roger Federer rocketed to the top of the tennis world as fast as he did. Upon finding this headline on ESPN.com, it appears as if marijuana is the answer.
