This is a classic example of just taking things a little too friggin’ far, okay? If you didn’t click it, it’s a missive about the introduction of an HIV-positive muppet to the Sesame Street cast in South Africa. This ridiculous idea was hatched for the sole purpose of educating children about the dangers of HIV, because it’s spreading like wildfire and spanning the Globe in all it’s badness. Okay, maybe just in South Africa. But come on – are you serious? An HIV-infected muppet? What’s next – will the Carvel cake mascot be Jimmy The Junkie instead of Fudgie the Whale so all young ice cream eaters can be informed about the dangers of heroin and other illegal substances? Or wait – instead of Barney the Dinosaur we can have Sandy the Slutbag, put on this great Earth with the sole intention of scaring young females about the horrific dangers of prostitution.

Come to think of it, god damn, this could actually be great fun! Introduce all kinds of shady characters to the young children in order to completely sap all the fun out of their lives as early as possible and put the fear of god in them before they learn just how insane this world really is. Great idea! I mean, there’s really no need to just let kids be kids and enjoy their young lives by having endless amounts of fun sucking on popsicles, singing along to the Piggly-Wiggly’s (I made that name up) or those Australian dudes whom my niece and nephew love so much. It’s just too much to ask for us to stop throwing our kids in the air and watching them laugh endlessly about it. Or wiggling your finger in their face as they watch, completely bewildered and laughing, as if your finger had some kind of magic booger on it that was telling jokes in a tongue only a little farting, shitting, drooling happy baby could understand. What? I am off on a tangent!

Wait a second, I just thought of a new one – The Howdy Booty Show. Howdy Booty could be an over-sexed maniac of a wooden-puppet who doesn’t use condoms and continuously is at the doctor’s office getting shots to cure his STD ailments. It would show the kids the dangers of not using protection and it would discourage the crazy antics of all the wooden puppets out there, those pigs. I’m going to go think of more, now……this is fun.