In case you hadn’t noticed, there is now a navigation table at the top of each page on RustedRobot which can direct you to certain areas of the site. The “contact” tab is a email form if you want to contact me, but at this time it doesn’t work and I can’t figure out why, so it may never work. But it will always be there, to make it look like I know what I am doing. Of course, if the urge to email me hits you and you become increasingly desperate to contact me, you can also email me by clicking on the link in the table to the right – you know, the one that says “email.” Yeah.

Anyway, there’s five tabs in this navigation bar and as you can plainly see, one is labeled “Item Five.” It is labeled “Item Five” simply because it’s nothing. If you click it right now, nothing happens because I didn’t know what to do with the fifth tab. Of course, I could have easily removed it, but that’s way too logical. I mean, come on. So today I am officially changing the name of my new (hopefully) weekly feature called “Ask the Musician” to “Item Five.” There is no clear reason for this. Just accept it. At some point soon, the “Item Five” tab will take you to a new page with an index for each musician interview. For now, the tab continues to do nothing. Enough verbosity on this for now.

Today’s installment of Item Five features the fiesty Jim Chavez, the lead singer for a great Kentucky-based band called My Morning Jacket. Jim also has a lot of hair.

Actually, I cannot confirm nor deny that this is Jim Chavez. It might be me. Or Robert Plant. Or your mother.

It is my opinion that My Morning Jacket are a bit like the Grateful Dead with balls and electric guitars. Or maybe they’re the modern day Neil Young & Crazy Horse. Yeah, that might be a slighly better description. One way or another, they’re a great young band of which I am sure are going to be very popular, if they’re not already, in hippie college towns like Athens, Ohio and Northampton, Mass. Their latest record, which came out in September of last year on the RCA record label, is called It Still Moves and I would recommend you buy it.

Now let’s watch as Jim types in CAPS and takes me to task for not liking the “St. Pepper’s..” album:

1. I think The Beatles “St.Pepper” album was way overrated. Do you?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING??? NO WAY, IT IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ALBUMS OF ALL TIME THAT FOREVER CHANGED THE WAY PEOPLE THOUGHT ABOUT MAKING RECORDS, FROM THE RECORDING PROCESS TO THE FUCKING AMAZING SONGS, RIGHT DOWN TO THE CONCEPT OF WHAT ALBUM ARTWORK COULD BE. THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS ALBUM COULD NOT BE OVERSTATED IN MY MIND. IM NOT A FAN OF HYPE AND STUFF LIKE THAT BUT THIS RECORD DESERVES ALL IT GETS.

2. What was the last thing you laughed really hard at?

A CASKET FALLING SIX FEET AND GOING “THUD”

3. You have a relatively new band member named Bo. Does he like to outrun the cops, slide across the hood of a car, or do spin outs like Bo Luke used to do on The Dukes Of Hazzard? NO, HE LIKES TO HIT HOME RUNS, PLAY FOOTBALL AND BE ON BASEBALL CARDS.

4. Did you see Farenheit 9-11? If so, what did you think?

I HAVE NOT SEEN IT YET, BUT I’VE READ HIS BOOKS AND REVIEWS OF THE FILM AND ALTHOUGH I THINK HE CAN BE A LITTLE SENSATIONAL AT TIMES, I AGREE WITH MOST OF HIS VIEWPOINTS.

5. Would you rather work with someone you’re not crazy about on a really good project or work with people you really really like on a so-so project?

I THINK IF YOU WORKED WITH SOMEONE YOU’RE NOT CRAZY ABOUT, IT WOULDNT BE THAT GOOD OF A PROJECT. I’D JUST WANT IT TO BE GOOD.

6. What can you tell me about My Morning Jacket’s next album?

NOTHING.

7. Why don’t you ask me a question?

HAVE YOU EVER DANCED WITH THE DEVIL IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT?

Jeff Answer: If, by “the devil” you mean a wizard in long robes and if by “the pale moonlight” you mean Winnipeg, Canada, then yes. I have. Don’t ask me another question.

8. Do you feel like the internet has helped or hurt the band in terms of sales, word of mouth, etc?

BOTH. I FEEL IT HELPS BY LETTING PEOPLE FIND OUT INFO ON BANDS BUT IT HURTS BECUASE WHEN PEOPLE DON’T PAY FOR A RECORD THE ARTIST SUFFERS.

9. Do you like the 70s band called Sweet? I just listened to a song called “Wig Wam Bam” and it was pretty damn good.

I ‘HEARD THEIR MUSIC BUT I’VE HEARD I’D LIKE THEM. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD NOLAN STRONG AND THE DIABLOS?

Jeff answer: No, sir. I have not.

10. Would you rather be Elton John, The Queen of England or Alf? (I realize #1 and #2 could be the same thing…)

SOME ASSHOLES USED TO CALL ME ALF IN HIGHSCHOOL, SO I GUESS I’D BE ELTON JOHN IN THE 70’S, HE FUCKING ROCKED BACK THEN.

I’d like to thank Jim Chavez for taking a few minutes to answer my ridiculous questions. He’s a good sport. For the record, I need to clarify something about “St. Peppers..” I agree with Jim that this album changed the music world in many ways – recording processes, packaging, etc, but I just don’t think the songs are that good, really. I’ll take Revolver or Rubber Soul any day.

Song now playing: Camper Van Beethoven – “Oh, Death”