I never really have the balls to do something like this. Seriously. I mean, I haven’t been pulled over in several years, but next time I do, I’m really tempted to make up something utterly insane just to see what the guy says. In fact, I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been doing normal, daily things and I think of things that I want to say, but I don’t. Granted, the things I think of to say are just plain ridiculous, but I think I’ve found my new years resolution! I’m just going to come out and say more ridiculous things in public, just to see how people react. Don’t look at it as me being obnoxious – look at it as a year-long sociological experiment. I will be studying human reaction this year. I will make up silly lies about what I do, who I see, where I go, etc etc. I will not lie directly to friends or family, but I reserve the right to lie in front of friends and family to also gauge their reaction.

Happy New Year! Dick Clark is a robot. Osama Bin Laden is a bartender in Cleveland. I have webbed feet. El Debarge is running the country.