I’ve previously referenced that I really love taking showers. It is not uncommon for me to just stand there, doing nothing, under hot water for as long as 20-30 minutes. I know, I know, it’s a little irresponsible, but everyone has to be a little selfish about something in their lives. If spoiling oneself via a long, hot shower is one of your only vices, then you’re probably doing ok. It’s when you’re obsessed with figs that questions start being asked.

Anyway, in an attempt to streamline my time in the bathroom (which is often longer than my low-maintenance wife) and make use of shower time, I’ve recently experimented with shaving in the shower, something which I’ve never done until the last couple of weeks. I use a shaving cream that requires water on the face previous to applying anyway, so I thought I’d give the ‘ol shower shave a try. I’m thinking I might make it a regular part of the shower.

The only drawback is the lack of a mirror. I do have the ability to generate a reflection two ways:

1. The center console of the shower, which is a round, chrome doohickey where you can adjust the temperature of the water and the water pressure. For those of you scoring at home, I have NEVER had the water pressure any lower than the very highest setting. The problem with using the console for reflection is that I have to crouch down to see myself and the round contraption gives off a fisheye-like reflection, which has resulted in minor spots being missed.

2. The handheld. Where the water comes out of the handheld is all chrome. This is probably my best option, because there’s no fisheye, but the drag is that I have to hold the razor in one hand while holding the heldheld in the other. This is more difficult to coordinate, but a more effective option.

Now, the one person who has read this far (why are you still reading this?) is probably asking themselves why that fool doesn’t just buy one of those shower mirrors. Ah! The shower mirror. So many people are fooled by the prospect of a shower mirror that actually works. NONE of them work. You can argue with me all you want, but I am right and you are wrong. They don’t work. Unless you have the ability to lather and shave your face in 4.3 seconds before the mirror fogs up, this is not a very viable solution.

Unless someone has the magic potion for making shower mirrors work (I would, of course, appreciate comments or suggestions on that one), I stand firm in my assessment.