Here’s a heartwarming story for you. Yesterday I was working from home and I got up and went into the bathroom because I needed to, um, pee. So after I finished up with that and flushed the toilet, I decided I needed to blow my nose because I was a little congested, which is basically the story of my life. I blow my nose about as often as desperate, attention starved people apply to be on reality TV shows. Anyway, in order to blow my nose, I needed to remove my glasses, because if I left them off they would either fall off while blowing my nose or get all nasty if I left them on. Those of you with glasses know. So off they come and of course, I drop them. Do they land on the floor? No. In the sink? No. Like a slow motion film, they hit the toilet seat, bounce slightly and teeter, as if deciding which direction they want to fall. I lunge for it (I might have sworn) but naturally, the glasses make their swift decision before I can reach them – into the toilet. So there they sit. With extreme relief that I already flushed the toilet, I work through the multitude of scenarios for retrieval, but lazyness and time win the moment. I just reached in and grabbed them. Then proceeded to wash my hands approximately 612 times. The glasses – I washed them 4,345 times before placing them back on my head. I also called the eye doctor and made an appointment for an exam and new pair, which I needed to do anyway. This event was the straw that stirred that drink. Fun.

Staying on subject, I’m looking through my traffic logs a few minutes ago and someone came to my site after typing in the query “see me shit” into Google. I have no idea how my site would be a relevant stop on the information superhighway for such an inquiry, but whatever. I’ve also noticed a lot of people typing my name into search engines, which I find very, very interesting. Who are you?

Song now playing: Cracker – “St. Cajetan”