Alright, so two things today from New York City to file in the “awkward” cabinet:
1. Part of the package when you register for this conference is that you get a free massage, as I mentioned before. I’ve never even received a professional massage in my life. Well, tonight the time came for the massage. So I went down to the hotel spa and worked out for about 45 minutes, then hopped in the shower and was then given a robe to get into for my massage. It’s at this point I start to wonder: am I supposed to be totally naked under the robe? Or do I throw on a pair of shorts or something? What do people do? Do they get completely naked? So I am freaking out. What if I am supposed to be naked? Even worse, what if I decided not to wear anything and it was the wrong thing to do? I envisioned the lady shrieking in fear or something when she discovers that I have no clothes on. But I swear I’ve either seen movies or heard about people not wearing anything, so I am not sure what’s normal and of course I’m a little perturbed about it (making it even more necessary to get the massage). What the HELL do I do here? Well, I’m always one to play it safe in an unknown situation, so I put on the shorts and decided to play it by, uh, ear. Well, the lady brings me into this darkened room with some kind of soothing, Indian-type music playing and she tells me she’s going to leave the room and asks me to lay on the table, under the sheet, and get comfortable and she’ll be back in a minute and she’ll knock. OK, this tells me that it’s postively OK to be naked. Wait – but is it? I take off my shorts and walk towards the table. Then I freeze – what if she freaks out? I walk back over and put my shorts back on. Now, I am not kidding you – I took off my shorts 4 times and then put them back on. Finally I settle and keep them on and get on the table. She comes back in. I get a massage. It was incredible. Not a word about the shorts or lack of shorts. Whew. I’m guessing it’s ok to do either. But who knows?
2. Afterwards, I sit in the sauna. Then I sit in the steam room. This hotel spa is something else. Then I shower again, because I love showering. Everyone reading this can now confirm that I am completely insane. Anyway, I decide it’s time for dinner and I go to the hotel restaurant and they seat me alone at a two person table. The restaurant is fairly dead since it’s like 8pm so I’m glad I have some room – there’s nobody within 50 feet of me, all around. Nice. I like my space. About ten minutes later, they escort this dude to his table and I’m not worried they’ll seat him near me – hell, there’s about 40 open tables all over the place. But wait – they’re walking towards me! Maybe they’ll seat him there……nope. Right next to me. I mean, no more than 4 feet away. How friggin’ awkward is this? There’s like 12 people in the restaurant, and they’re ALL spread out, but these morons seat this guy about 4 feet from me. Did I look at them dirty? Was I rude? Impossible – I was just sitting there looking at the menu. Why are they doing this to me? It’s like a bad movie. There’s a casual glance every minute or so and complete silence, and I know the guy is wondering the same thing. What the hell? Anyway, 4 feet from each other, we order (same thing – cilantro chicken), we eat, we pay, we leave. Not a single word spoken. I was tempted to ask him “hey, why the hell did they put you so close to me?” But I didn’t. I’d rather be struck with a metal shovel in the shins than start a conversation with a stranger.
Madison Square Garden is very cool. Too bad the Rangers and Canucks are such boring teams. No hitting at all. Good god. But a very cool place to watch a hockey game. Back to Boston tomorrow. Who wants to pick me up at the airport?