“Waaahhhhhhh” goes the sound of the hundreds of thousands of RustedRobot fans who read my site. I’ve been gone a while, yeah, but even ‘ol Jeffo needs a vacation now and then, so we packed up that hunk ‘o crap we call a truck……and we headed to Martha’s……Vineyard, that is. And let me tell you, six straight days on the beach has rejuvenated me. I told my girlfriend on the drive down there that my goal for the week was to return to the mainland looking like an African-American (I can say that, right?). Well, I think I came close to my goal. Six days on a beach will do that to you.

I’m driving to work today and I thought of a completely genius idea. Not only is it genius, it’s also selfless and heartwarming, which is really quite shocking for a nasty capitalist like me. Of course, nasty capitalism does play into it in the end, but check it – you know how your old college seems to find you no matter where you go? I’ve moved three times in the last 3 years, and it’s like Kent State has personal satellites or private investigators on me or something, because they seem to know my new address like 6 years BEFORE I move. Well – here’s what you do. You employ the alumni offices of every university in the United States to find missing children. Shit, they could find most of these missing children within 30 minutes, I bet, since they seem to find their alumni within 15 seconds. Easy, huh? It’s my idea. I’m trademarking it. And while it’s great that millions of lost, runaway or abducted children would be tearfully and cheerfully (most of them would be cheerful, anyway) reunited with their families, I’d get rich because it was my idea. I thought of it first. So there. I’m back. Hi.