The Birth of A Robot
Originally uploaded by rustedrobot.

So, as I mentioned earlier this week, to celebrate five years of blogging, I’ve gone up to the cyber-attic and have begun unearthing some of my favorite old posts. Today’s installment was initially published on September 17, 2002 and remains one of my favorite posts of all time. I don’t know what the hell was running through my mind, but I found this picture online from some news story and put my own twisted spin on it. Here’s the post:

“I’m not sure I’ve told many people the news here because I like to keep things quiet, but I was recently pregnant. Yes, pregnant. You see, not many people think that robots can even GET pregnant, but I am here to tell you that we, much like you humans, have needs. And every now and then, I see another robot on the street and I just HAVE to have it. And so it goes.

The actual act (you know….the “getting together”) got a little complicated, especially when my lower-quadrant DC-112 processor wires got tangled with the other robot’s secondary intake valves, but it was just a one-night stand, and I am happy to announce the birth of my new robot baby, which I am calling RZ-T61234 (I have to follow some regulations). Anyway, I’m also happy because we allowed the press to document the birth. As you see in this picture, here’s the robot doctor (who used to be the lead singer in the Village People) performing the actual birthing process. While I’m a little embarrassed because this picture doesn’t exactly show my most flattering features, it’s all about the baby. I mean, it’s totally cute, isn’t it? Both baby and all of my lights are doing well.”