Once in a blue moon I wake up and I just want to change everything. I look around at everything I’ve amassed, worked hard for, or the things I put research and effort into buying and I think “what the hell is it all for?” Would I be just as happy with less, just simply knowing I have a wife who loves me, supports me and will always be there for me? I don’t thank her enough for that. Your gravestone won’t list your material possessions.

From the insignificant things like getting rid of a small rug to the mundane things like the piles of dirt or cobwebs that inevitably form an army in my basement from time to time. I want to change it. I want to delete all the music from my hard drive because I just can’t find anything I feel like listening to right now. I want to set fire to my 2002 Camry. I want to stop writing this blog. I want to quit my job, do something I truly love, damn the money. I want to make a difference somehow. How the hell do you make a difference? And I don’t mean donating $50 to a local charity.

I want people whom I consider friends to consider me a friend as well and act like it. Or maybe they’re not my friends after all. I want people to return emails or phone calls. I want more people to call or write and express some damn interest, such as a simple “hey, how are you doing?” or “how was your weekend?” Because I do it. It seems so simple, doesn’t it? It’s never that simple.

Tomorrow, I’ll be different.

SEE NO EVIL (Television/Tom Verlaine, 1977)
What I want
I want now
and it’s a whole lot more
than ‘anyhow’
I want to fly
fly a fountain
I want to jumpjumpjump
jump a mountain

I understand all… i see no…
destructive urges… i see no…
it seems so perfect… i see no…
i see… i see no… i see no evil

I get ideas
I get a notion
I want a nice little boat
made out of ocean.
I get your point.
You’re so sharp.
Getting good reactions
with your ”BeBo” talk.

Don’t say unconscious
No don’t say doom.
If you got to say it
let me leave this room
Cuz what I want
I want now
and it’s a whole lot more
than ‘anyhow.’

I’m runnin wild with the one I love
I see no evil
I’m runnin wild with the one-eyed ones
I see no evil
Pull down the future with the one you love
Pull down the future