We kid more than we know about “real life.” I always laugh when I see sitcoms, dramas, or movies on TV where there’s a couple in bed, the sun is starting to peek in because its morning and the couple is wrapped together in a slumbering embrace. They awaken, happy and glorious, staring all googly-eyed at each other. Now, I don’t know about you, but my wife and I can’t last more than two minutes doing this. Sleeping for HOURS in an embrace? I’d be sweating and unbearably hot even with the AC at full tilt. It’s just not possible. And what of comfort? There is, inevitably, a stray arm that is either so numb or in such an uncomfortable position that you’d rather stand in line at the supermarket deli. Real life is this – we don’t face each other when we sleep. No idea why.

We bought a king bed because we figured it was inevitable that the kids, from either sickness or fear of the dark, would be coming into the room. We thought we needed the space. Funny thing happened on the way to bed, though – our kids hate our bed. We should be happy they’re not coming in every night, right? But now we find ourselves talking about how cute it would be if we all slept together! The grass is always greener! Real life.

I haven’t set an alarm for months now. I don’t need to. I have two human alarms that go off just before 6 every day, and lately an internal clock going off at 5 sharp. If I fall back asleep, gravy. But it only happens once every week, if that.

I wonder if there has ever truly been a show or any form of media that depicts sleeping in any real, remotely accurate way?