Did anyone happen to see the two American Idol episodes this week? Holy crap! What an overflowing amount of comedy, served up in an overflowing, foamy stein, reality style. I can’t even fathom how some of these people think that they’re fabulous singers, when the truth is that they sound like someone is sticking needles into an elderly feline. You can actually see some of the horrendous auditions by clicking here. Really great stuff! I especially love when the judges, correctly, tell someone that they stink, then watching the person get completely perplexed, flip out and get all offended. It all just makes me giggle endlessly. I tell you, this kind of reality television just makes me as giddy and happy as Axl Rose at the post-concert food spread.

One more note, however, about American Idol. I already know who’s going to win and I’ve bet my girlfriend five dollars on it. There was a woman, and I don’t remember her name, but she was African-American and she was a 17 year-old from New York. She had enormous, abnormally sized, gigantic, humongous, ridiculous breasts. And she had the best voice I think I’ve heard since Aretha Franklin. Her left boob was as big as Aretha Franklin herself, but her voice was just incredible and powerful. I’m not sure I’ve heard anything like it. She’s the winner – I cannot imagine anyone else beating that kind of talent.