Oh, how I love the Onion: Bush Posts Classified…

Oh, how I love the Onion:

Bush Posts Classified Ad For 90,000 Troops

WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to relieve the burden on his overextended armed forces in Iraq, President Bush placed a four-line classified ad in the Monday edition of 75 U.S. newspapers. “WANTED: motivated, dedicated, obedient people looking for career in growing field of nation liberation,” the ad read. “90,000 jobs avail. F/T days, nights, weekends. No exp. necessary. Will train. Arabic a plus. Starter pay, solid bnfts.” To further boost military enlistment rates, Bush plans to post the job offer at employment offices in 300 cities across the country.

Not much else to report today. No bitching, nothing funny, nothing going on. Nothing. Maybe someone should add some comments about things they want me to discuss here? Go ahead, don’t be afraid.

Song now playing: Uncle Tupelo – “Gun”

2 comments to Oh, how I love the Onion: Bush Posts Classified…

  • Anonymous

    You should be talking Pro Wrestling, 24/7. Once in a while you can change the subject to child TV stars (like “what the hell ever happened to Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch?”), but then the subject should immediately go back to wrestling. You also need a wrestling gimmick. This whole Jeff Copetas, average 30-something guy from Boston persona just doesn't cut in anymore. You should hire Theodore Long as your manager and take on an angry black man persona, and say “Holla at me Playa” all the time. Trust me, you'll be a lot edgier.

  • Anonymous

    You should be talking Pro Wrestling, 24/7. Once in a while you can change the subject to child TV stars (like “what the hell ever happened to Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch?”), but then the subject should immediately go back to wrestling. You also need a wrestling gimmick. This whole Jeff Copetas, average 30-something guy from Boston persona just doesn’t cut in anymore. You should hire Theodore Long as your manager and take on an angry black man persona, and say “Holla at me Playa” all the time. Trust me, you’ll be a lot edgier.

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