News roundup: This article is a little shocking…

News roundup:

This article is a little shocking. Essentially, 1.3% of the males in the U.S. have been to prison. Think about it – you indirectly encounter hundreds of people each day of your life – for every 75 people you cross paths with, 1 has spent time in jail. Weird.

There is SO MUCH wrong with this. In no way, shape or form should a store offer a return policy on underwear. No way. Jose.

I haven’t mentioned Maddox here in a while. He claims to have the best site in the universe and with expert writing and pictures like these, he just might be right. It is my dream to be able to write hilarious snippets and be paid for it. To make a living by making people laugh at my written words would be as sweet as it gets. Of course, don’t take this to mean that Maddox gets paid or does this for a living, I highly doubt it. I was just saying it would be neat if he (or me) could make a living by doing something so ridiculous.

It’s pure coincidence that I’ve been reading/watching so much about World War II lately and that this weekend marks the 60th Anniversary of D-Day. The memorial down in DC looks pretty nice, but I wonder what the hell took so long? In all likelihood, we’ll never see a country so united as we did during that time. Now, I wasn’t there and time certainly does polish and shine the past, but the war effort in late 1930’s and ’40s seemed to be unprecendented and I doubt it can ever be repeated. Don’t get me wrong – I believe our country, both civilian and military, is very much capable of rallying and sacrifice, but at the levels seen during World War II? Unfathomable today.

Song now playing: The Kinks – “Afternoon Tea”

One thing I’ve neglected to mention so far this ye…

One thing I’ve neglected to mention so far this year is which video baseball game I decided to go with for my PC. In case you’re new to the blog, each season I buy a baseball game and play out a season. A whole season. A couple of seasons ago, I went ballistic and played out two whole seasons.

Anyway, I pick a team, I set up the rosters to mirror exactly what the real MLB rosters look like (which takes longer than one thinks to set up) and then I play out an entire 162 game season. Generally, to play an entire season takes a couple of months and rosters get updated based on real MLB transactions. Obsessive? Yep. But cool as shit.

The game I chose, essentially due to lack of any other option, was EA Sports MVP Baseball 2004. Normally, EA’s baseball game has been an insult to anyone who wants a true representation of baseball. This season, though, they’ve made huge, huge strides. While it still doesn’t hold a candle to the realism of the now defunct 3DO’s High Heat series (what’s that? Do I hear TAPS playing in the background?), they’re getting pretty damn close. Graphically, it’s probably the best baseball game I’ve ever seen. There’s some small kinks to work out regarding true realism, but EA has really come a long way and this game is very fun to play.

This year I chose the San Diego Padres, a team with solid hitting but questionable pitching, playing in a brand new ballpark. So far I’m 50-37 and in first place in the relatively weak NL West at the All-Star Break, but the San Francisco Giants are nipping at my heels. Jay Payton has been an absolute monster for me, hitting 31 home runs.

So while this game doesn’t have the jaw dropping realism that caused me countless numbers of “wow” moments with 3DO’s product (TAPS again), my assumption is that next year EA Sports just might match it. Here’s a screenshot of Jay Payton breaking his bat on a pitch from Jason Jennings of Colorado. Click on the picture for a bigger version.

Oh, how I love the Onion: Bush Posts Classified…

Oh, how I love the Onion:

Bush Posts Classified Ad For 90,000 Troops

WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to relieve the burden on his overextended armed forces in Iraq, President Bush placed a four-line classified ad in the Monday edition of 75 U.S. newspapers. “WANTED: motivated, dedicated, obedient people looking for career in growing field of nation liberation,” the ad read. “90,000 jobs avail. F/T days, nights, weekends. No exp. necessary. Will train. Arabic a plus. Starter pay, solid bnfts.” To further boost military enlistment rates, Bush plans to post the job offer at employment offices in 300 cities across the country.

Not much else to report today. No bitching, nothing funny, nothing going on. Nothing. Maybe someone should add some comments about things they want me to discuss here? Go ahead, don’t be afraid.

Song now playing: Uncle Tupelo – “Gun”

I’m sure the front office of the NHL is excited ab…

I’m sure the front office of the NHL is excited about their 2004 Stanley Cup Finals – Calgary vs. Tampa Bay. While it may be a great series featuring two exciting teams, the NHL is in real trouble right now and it’s a shame. The beginning of the end came back in the early 1990’s when they brought hockey to San Jose and Florida, frachises #22 and #23. Not only did they allow a team to wear teal, but for some reason there was reason to believe that a) fans down there would really respond and b) the assumption that there were enough NHL quality hockey players to fill an extra 42 jobs proved wrong. But wait – that’s not the point (see: $$$$). Ten years and seven additional teams later, the quality of the product has suffered so badly that each NHL team is lucky to have ten NHL quality players, the rest are guys who hang onto opponents jerseys and say “wheee” as they get dragged around the ice. It’s really a sad state of affairs. Let’s throw some more rum into the drink: they may not even have a season next year because, much like many other sports, the owners and the players are a bunch of babies. You can’t even take sides – they’re both ridiculous. They have no idea that not many people will even notice if there’s a lockout. A crappy, overextended product, greed and low attendance already are wreaking havoc – wait ’till you see what a lockout will do.

In much more encouraging news, I defied even my own self-perceived limitation and successfully, without error, assembled a grill this weekend. And used it. And it worked.

This whole DNC convention business here in Boston is getting nasty. I can’t really fault Mumbles-Menino for being upset. The city is already taking a bath on the whole thing, they’re closing down like 40 miles of highway each day around the FleetBankOfAmericaCenter and now Kerry’s saying he might not even accept the nomination there, which really means the whole thing is a farce – it’ll be a bunch of Dems in nice hotel rooms going to parties while the rest of us are utterly handcuffed by the sacrificies we, Joe Public, will have to make. Ah whatever. I’ll be out of the town the whole week, myself.

Song now playing: The Cult – “Wild Flower”

Back home, yo! Lots o’ crap tonight! Google man…

Back home, yo! Lots o’ crap tonight!

Google mania may have reached a new high. Or should I say a new low? I’m completely neutral on the topic, myself, but the things people are doing to get a GMail account are simply ridiculous. I wish such effort could be directed towards eradicating racism, or getting George Bush out of office. Or even getting Pavement back together. So anyway, yeah, I have a Gmail account, what will you give me?

In taking two cross-country flights in the past few days, I was given the opportunity to watch three movies. Since I had some work to do, I blew off one of them, called “Chasing Liberty,” which looked to me like a truly insulting hour-and-a-half with Mandy Moore as the president’s daughter running amuck in Ally McBealish misery ’cause her daddy keeps sending the secret service on her dates. No thanks.

However, I did partake in Calendar Girls, a movie about a bunch of naked old Brit ladies in a calendar who want to sell the calendar, buy a couch and donate it to a hospital. After one hour of this I happened to look around the plane and notice that almost everyone was drooling, not because they were looking at old ladies, but the because the movie had put them to sleep.

So today on my way back home, I was presented with this conundrum. First, though, a note. It wasn’t really a conundrum as much as it was a time-budgeting issue. I had four tasks for the trip home: read some more of the captivating Stephen Ambrose book D-Day, get a little work done, read today’s New York Times and finally, watch the movie Love Actually.

I managed to get all four in, although I only scanned the New York Times, which easily was trumped by the movie. So, how was the movie? Well, of the three I’ve had the opportunity to watch this week, it was the best one. Hugh Grant, as usual, plays a bumbling, clueless single man who Brit-mumbles and is the picture of self-loathing. Everyone else is looking for love. Keira Knightley has still never been seen in a shirt that fills her whole upper body (but damn she’s cute). Even Billy Bob Thornton plays the President of the U.S., which was really very disturbing to think about until you realize you’ve just left the state where a former steriod-chowing, womanizing action-film actor is the governor. Oh yeah – did I like it? Well, I must admit it certainly did have some funny moments and I’m shocked to say that I give it a B-minus. Just to make sure, I looked around the plane and caught many other males around my age laughing, too. So there (sticking my tongue out).

So last weekend, as I mentioned, I went to Newport, Rhode Island with Stephanie. We did what many other people who go to Newport do – we drove to the mansions and gawked at ’em. We even went inside one of them, a behemoth structure known to man as “The Breakers.” I don’t have any friggin’ idea why it’s called that, but one could assume that because its on the ocean that, perhaps, waves were breaking somewhere on the premesis. Whatever. The Breakers was owned by the Vanderbilts and man, those cats knew how to live. Sadly, they would not let us take pictures inside – a place filled with all kinds of crazy ass stuff like imported marble, gold ceilings and all kinds of other richie-rich crap. I jest, but it was quite amazing, actually. The coolest part was that every single piece in the house was an original – right down to the clothes that were still in the walk-in closets. I did snap some interesting photos here, including one of a cute little bunny rabbit on the grounds. I loves me a cute little animal.

After Newport, we drove directly to Logan Airport, where I was dropped off for my work trip to San Francisco, a city which I absolutely love. Every time I go there, I am stunned by the incredible sights – I always seem to find something new and beautiful to gawk at. I’m not so sure why I found this picture of the majestic Bay Bridge to be so fascinating, but since it’s my weblog and bridges amaze me, I will show the picture:

I must also make note of the hotel I stayed in which, completely unbeknownst to me, was one of the more frou-frou joints in the city, a place called The Mark Hopkins Intercontinental Hotel. Now, I am most definitely no high-falutin hotel-stayer. Let us not forget my stay at the Hotel Del Sol in SF a while back, right? Here’s the deal: I went online and found this place for $160 a night, so I pulled the trigger, not having any idea whatsoever that it was a Daddy Warbucks hotel, right? So yeah. It was nice, but not my thing. Regardless, one must be impressed by a U.S. Mail shaft in this hotel which ran along the length of elevators – essentially an 18 floor mail slot. If you drop your day’s mail into the slot on the 18th floor, down it goes until it lands safely in the box at the ground floor of the hotel. Neato:

I would also be remiss if I didn’t share a few pictures of a restaurant/bar at the top of the hotel called, fittingly, “The Top Of The Mark.” The hotel sits in a part of town called Nob Hill, which supposedly is one of the higher points of the whole city, so by going to the “Top of the Mark,” you get some pretty damn nice views of the city, some of which can be found in this set of pictures. While the last picture (#9) in this set is not taken from the top, it remains one of my favorite shots I’ve taken in a while….

Song now playing: Shirley Ellis – “The Clapping Song”